Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think I just shit out all my problems.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
