It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
