so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
