i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i think i just lost a toe
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
