I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
