he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
