Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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