I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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