If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
