i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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