She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
