hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize