He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize