Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Randomize
