I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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