Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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