Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
