my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
