Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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