ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
