Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
