So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
