He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
