you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
