is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
