Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
