My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
