Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
