Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
