i think my mom watched the whole time
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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