you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
