it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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