Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
