blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
