we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
