I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
