He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
