WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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