Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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