I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
