Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
