please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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