she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
