I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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