He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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