Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
