Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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