u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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