Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
