quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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