Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
