We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
