Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
