When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
