if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
